Getting help for suicidal thoughts online

Let me try to explain why I had a knee jerk negative reaction to the news that Facebook is launching suicide prevention tools on its site the other day. First off I think it’s praiseworthy that the company is trying to help people who are suicidal, of course. That goes without saying. But I had a trigger response to the idea that someone like me might one day feel suicidal and post something there that would be policed, and I felt scared all of a sudden. Really scared. Though I’ve often been truly suicidal, I don’t actually want to die. And when I’m suicidal, I’m not thinking rationally at all. I got scared that I might see or read something that though it’s intended to help, might scare me into doing the very thing I shouldn’t. That’s how suicidality is for me. Sometimes when people try to help, I run the other way out of fear. That’s why I often end up hospitalized for suicidal thoughts and ideation. For me, suicidality is it’s own mental illness, if you will. If I were able to think clearly, I wouldn’t want to take my own life in the first place and I wouldn’t need psychiatric help.

But that’s just me. I know everyone doesn’t have my experience. However this is why I reacted so poorly when I read the news and why I got so frightened. It’s why I’d still be scared to post anything on Facebook if I were ever suicidal again. I can’t be sure how I’d react to any type of help that didn’t come from a person talking to me face to face, in a safe environment. For me, it’s too precarious and I may make a permanent mistake that I don’t intend. So though I thoroughly support Facebook in their mental health efforts, I know I can’t utilize the services if I’m feeling suicidal. I just can’t take the risk.

Single Parenting a Sick Child… and some tips!

This is a wonderful post!! Really insightful.

thismommyexists

Part of parenting is taking care of your sick child or children, right? But is single parenting a sick child so much tougher?  YES. You cannot split the physical and emotional exhaustion.

In the beginning of a child’s illness, there’s this instinctual softness that overwhelms you as a parent. You want to soothe your baby with warm baths, whip up hot soups. Awe… the snuggling. You can’t beat the snuggling and rubbing your fingers over those curls and waves while they fall asleep.

Sounds lovely, peaceful and filled with hope. It reads like a commercial story board for a baby bath time product. But there’s another side, especially for single parents. After I share some truths, I’d like to offer a little encouragement along with a few tips for you, your family and friends. Hopefully it helps ease the stress of caring for a sick child as a single parent.

The Truth.

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Adult colouring books – a meditative practise?

depressionistheenemy

For a long time colouring books have been associated with something that we do and grow out of some time during infancy. It has even been suggested that around “real school” age, we stop encouraging creative activities like coloring and drawing and instead encourage more structured academic activities. It is hard to deny that there is some elements of truth in this statement. This is regrettable, seeing as there has been much debate surrounding the usefulness of this exercise, from both sufferers and mental health professionals alike.

tardis-1 And so it begins with the blue box itself! If you look closely you will see that I used (or tried to use) different shades of blue for the exterior.

However, if you are anything like me, trying to see the appeal of  colouring in a dozen of tiny shapes of various contours can be a difficult concept to grasp. Indeed upon…

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Why I’m Writing

Well, I’m restarting my blog. I love writing but I haven’t done it in a really long time. A couple years ago, my life was very unstable. My bipolar illness was not under control and I was moving from place to place as I was awaiting my disability hearing. I couldn’t have stayed by myself regardless of my financial situation because I wasn’t fit to live alone. I needed help from my family and friends. I certainly couldn’t write consistently at that time. Things were strained, at best. Now, alhamdulillah, my situation is much improved. I’m settled and feeling more steady, for the most part. My bipolar isn’t in full remission, however it is better managed than before. This blog will serve as an online diary of my life as a bipolar, African-American, Muslim woman in America. I will also use it to bring awareness to mental health issues in general. I want to help others by sharing my experience and passing along useful information. I truly believe that the best way to stamp out stigma is to educate people about that which they fear or don’t understand. Welcome to my page and happy reading!

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